A Belizean Summer||2.2||Let the Children Come Unto Me ~ Jesus

 "Then Jesus said, "Let the children 

    come to me. Don't stop them!" Mark 10:14

    "Anyone who welcomes a little child like this welcomes me... Whoever is the least among you is the greatest." Luke 9:48

.............................................

These two verses just keep running through my head as I go through the week. These children have grabbed a piece of my heart. I can only imagine how hard it is going to be to have to say good-bye later this week.

Let me explain a bit. My group, Broadway UMC, has been serving at an orphanage here in Belmopan City for 3 years now. This year they have been working at building a fence on the one porch in order to prevent the younger children from falling off. So the men have been working on building it, leaving the rest of us to either paint the railing or hang out with the kids.

The orphanage has one room dedicated as the 'nursery'. The under-school-age kids play in there all day. And of course those are the ones who I've connected with. I just love their little squeals and smiles and shenanigans. Yes, they are very tiring. Yes, they fight over silly things. Yes, they act like toddlers! [DUH! That's what they are- what more would you expect?! ;)] And yet you can see in their eyes that many of them have already been through more than anything any child of their age should ever go through. They have been forced to grow up faster than normal. However, they are still at the age where you can also see the care-free happiness of a child pouring out of their eyes. And that amazes me.

I guess I've just never been in an orphanage setting before. Yes, I've worked with kids with horrible childhoods/pasts. Yes, I've babysat foster kids. And yet, all of that is so different from this. I just want to take all of them home and love on them and show them Jesus and what a good family is like. And I know I can't. And there is a piece of my heart that feels like it is ripped apart everytime I think about it.

There is a young girl (I can't give her name) at the orphanage. She is 'my baby'. I don't know what it is or why, but she has captured my heart more than any of the others. Maybe it's because she's one of the 'naughtier' ones. I don't know. She is just so adorable. Tonight she kept saying, "I don't want you to go!" and "Please, please, PLEASE take me home with you!" And I nearly broke into sobs. In fact, there are tears on my face as I write this. I so badly want to take her home with me! [And her little brother too, for that matter. He's equally as cute. :)] Don't get me wrong, it's not that she is treated poorly at the Home. In fact, I am extremely impressed with how well the kids seem to be taken care of!!! It's just that she has me wrapped around her finger and I am not sure how I'll every be able to say good-bye!

Oh bother. The end of this week is going to be really hard, isn't it?!? 

You know, I can't help but think about God in all of this. Yes, I am struggling so bad with just wanting to take care of all of these kids, but especially the little girl I'm now attached to. And yet I'm reminded that if I can fall so in love with a child who messes up, who is not perfect, who throws tantrums sometimes, and who I barely know, how much greater is the God of the universe in love with me? I seriously struggle with that on a daily basis; I don't understand how God could love me when I mess up so much! And I'm not trying to sound like some great, upright Christian missionary who is just seeing God in everything I do, but I am seriously being challenged.

And it's so hard. It's so hard to realize that my heart may be breaking just so I can learn yet another thing about God. [I know, I know, it's not JUST for that reason]

Please continue to keep this group in your prayers. I know I'm not the only one of our group who is going through a lot of emotions right now. Pray that God would continue to be glorified. For He truly is AMAZING. [
Even when He might be testing our patience. ;)]