A Belizean Summer||2.0||The Adventure Begins

I have safely arrived in Belize! I got in yesterday at 1:15ish (Belize is two hours behind us so it was like 3:15 at home). Some of the other interns and a staff member were there to pick me up and take me to the D*Victoria Hotel in Orange Walk Town, where I'll be staying for the next couple days. The afternoon was spent in some laid-back training/get-to-know-you games, followed by a picture scavenger hunt through the town. (Super fun!!) After that we met for supper(burritos), provided by one of the assistant leader's mom. Seriously. The food down here is too good to put into words. :) After supper, we walked the short distance to the ice cream shop, where Jason(Founder and CEO of Thirst) kindly treated us all! It was a very tiring, but very awesome first day!

Then today we met with several of the host pastors in the morning. It got a little long because it was mostly in Spanish but I honestly enjoyed it for the most part because I felt like I was brushing up on my Spanish! I talked to this one pastor who knew very little English but with his broken English and my broken Spanish I learned that he moved here from Guatemala about 4 years ago with his family. He has 4 boys, aging from 22 to 14 and lives here in Orange Walk. I am so glad I took that Spanish 1 class at Faith with Mr. Lapp!!!! Anyhow. After the meeting, we ate lunch with the pastors and then split into small groups and traveled to some of the different towns we'll be serving in this summer. My group went to Concepcion to meet with Pastor Eduardo about some things (I won't be traveling there but one of the other interns will be!) and then traveled up to Corozal. Omystars. Corozal is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! You seriously come around the bend and BOOM! ocean!!! I will be staying with a group there for a week and let me tell you, I can't wait!! It is seriously so pretty up there. Fun Fact: Corozal is in Northern Belize, just 30 minutes from the Mexico border. We ate supper at this pretty restaurant called Tony's. It was awesome because we ate on this pier-type thing out over the water! Anyhow. Then we came back and just kind of hung out and did whatever!

Thanks so much for everyone's prayers!! It means a lot to me to know that so many people care about me and the other staff members here!!

Packages/Letters from friends!! So fun!

My plane!

Pastor Angel's house here in Orange Walk Town

Tony's Restaurant in Corozal

My view from supper tonight

Watermelon Juice-My favorite!!!

A Belizean Summer||1.2|| 20 More Days!!

First of all, THANK YOU so much for all the love for my last post! I felt so vulnerable posting those thoughts but am feeling so blessed from the kind comments from everyone.

In other news, there are only 20 days left until I leave for my internship! So crazy. My leave date has always been 'so far in the future' and now it's almost upon me! God is gracious and so so good to me. So thanks again for your kind words. Please continue to pray with me as I wrap up last little details!

||A Belizean Summer||1.1||The Human Inside

Doubts. 

That this is actually where I'm supposed to be in life. That I'm actually supposed to be leaving all I know for an entire summer. That everything will fall into place. That God will provide.

Fears.

That I'm not good enough. That I'm going to fail miserably. That I won't get along with the other staff members. That God will test me harder than I can handle. That I'm not spiritually ready.

This is what I'm struggling with. And believe me, I'm scared to make these things public; my hands are shaking as I type this! Yes, I can hide that I'm terrified. But the truth of the matter is that I feel like my faith is being tested to the extreme right now. I don't feel prepared mentally, physically, or spiritually. And I feel like I just keep shoving down this great big lump of fear but one day I'm not going to be able to push it down anymore and I'm going to fall apart. I know that God's got it under control but the human inside me is completely freaking out. And I guess it really just seems so silly but this is what I know right now.

So is there something wrong with me? Yes, yes there is. It's called I'm Human. I'm going to mess up. I might fail. I will be tested to my limits. But God's got my back and will pick me up when I fall. And I know that.

But I also need to know that it's ok to be scared. And to doubt. And to be human.

The Human Inside

I'm scared of the human I know I am.

That person who never seems to learn.

That person who constantly falls and fails.

That person who makes the same mistakes. 

Over. And. Over. Again.

I'm scared of the human I know I am.

That girl who gets so scared.

That girl who pushes others away unknowingly.

That girl who hides in her room because she doesn't want to mess up

A. Good. Thing.

I'm scared of the human I know I am. 

That child who is so very naive.

That child who doesn't even know who she is some days.

That child who is so hungry for knowledge.

That. She. Doesn't. Know. How. To. Obtain.

I'm scared of the human I know I am.

The human that God created. 

The human that God forgives.

The human God loves.

No. Matter. The. Amount. of. Failures.